I haven't posted actual numbers weight wise. I've debated and always chickened out. I'm afraid of being judged. I look at my numbers, and while they're not the best (technically in the overweight category), they're not that bad either. I've come a long way since I had O. So, I was talking to a friend about my goals and was honest with specifically where I am and where I'd like to be in a month (breaking down for small goals, people. Looking at the big picture is exhausting). As I was getting to the part about being judged, I realized how silly I sound. I worry about this with running as well. Instead of accepting compliments and encouragement, I brush off and downplay.
And of course, this judging is in my head. It's me being harsh on myself and projecting (because if people really do have a problem or something to say, whatever). Quite a revelation, huh?
But you guys, I'm tired. I am tired of beating myself up and worrying about other people. So, I'm going to be honest and I'm going to try to not beat myself up so much when I look at pictures or in the mirror and that's not going to happen overnight or be easy.
I will try to be more specific with my goals. And hey, today is weigh in day!. Also, I debated how I was going to say I was under the 150lb mark without giving away my weight (I'm in a new tens, decade? huh? I don't know why I got stuck on that word even though it was completely the wrong word), so I guess I don't have to worry about that now.
July
1. Get to under 150
2. Run 3 times a week
3. Strength train 2 times a week
I do want to try to come up with a non food related prize system for meeting my goals. Any suggestions? I still have about 20lbs total I'd like to lose - something every 5lbs? A gold star every work out? With my love of stickers, that might work actually.
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